A series of unforeseen events – Attacked by pigeonsAttacked by pigeons

A series of unforeseen events that have truly and really occurred in Spacebar office, in an alternative universe. As narrated by Alpana Mandal.

I’d reached office at around 10:35, and found Tristan already there, working on his Chromebook. I spoke to Upen who said he was reaching office in 15 minutes and as usual no word from Rohan. He’ll be here eventually. I set my laptop on the desk and was mentally rehearsing all the work that had to be done for the day. While my laptop was booting, I glanced out my window and found myself spacing out on the fact that it was an unusually hot day for the winter season. Anyways, work had to be done and my office is cool from inside. No stress!

Finally at around 12:30 PM, everybody was in the office and at work. The clicks of the keyboards were competing with the silence that everybody maintained while working. I just got off the phone with Afsha Walele. That surname making a kind of West Indies soca tune in my head. She bugs me sometimes, but hey the client who we’re both working for is worth the mental strain. When I entered my office again, I thought for the second time that the weather outside my office was too hot. It was subtly dominating the cool AC breeze. Power of nature huh? Well f**k that! If the AC is struggling to keep us feeling chilled, then we might as well keep the windows open and let the natural breeze take over. And so I did.. It didn’t help, but it felt better, less suffocating. Anyways I had to get back to work. Write a few articles for Allerin. The day was good. Couldn’t get any better than this for sure.

But I was not thinking about the contrary. I was clearly unaware that they were about to get worse. I was in the zone. I could see nothing but the white page on my computer screen get filled with words, and I could feel nothing but the keyboard. Nothing could’ve shaken my focus, until I heard this fluttering. It was a moment where time seemed to slow down, at least for my senses. This fluttering started out sort of at a distance, and started to grow louder when suddenly it was so loud that I realized I was the target. Before I could completely turn around, I saw this one blackish-grey wing going frantic near my face. Obviously, I swung my arms trying to get rid of this one bird, when suddenly three more appeared. Did I have food grains in my hair? Why are these f**kin birds flipping on me? What did I do? I screamed at Tristan who was chuckling at the scenario, asking him to get a broom to whack the life out of these birds. I saw him try to pass, but the birds had flipped their tiny heads. Upen rushed out with a broom in his hand, ready to shoo off the birds but stopped. Its quite clear he didn’t want to swing a broom at his boss by mistake. So he started swinging the broom is air, hoping the wind pressure would blow the birds off my head.. That one-second stare that I managed to give him made it clear that what he was trying was not working. Rohan then ran out of the office. I’m thinking what a weird kid, running away from a pigeon fight. Apparently he went to seek help from the office next door, Helpguru’s. I think it was time they reconsidered their company name since the boy in the blue t-shirt was as clueless and bedazzled as my employees were. Still, he had to do something. So he runs to call his fellow employees for assistance while I’m standing here battling these little shits. Will I be known as the lady who got attacked by pigeons? Should I consider relocating my office? Now is not the time to think that. I managed to grab one pigeon by its leg/foot or whatever they land on and swung it towards the window. To my surprise, 2 other pigeons followed. The last pigeon who sat on the windowpane was way to confused about what just happened to the rest of his crew. For a second I thought I’d slam the window shut, splitting his little body into half. But then the Helpguru boy came running, grabbed the pigeon and gave me the most reassuring look, telling everything was under control. Yea right it was. My hair was a mess. I had feathers falling off of me and I was just annoyed. Anyways, I shut the window, turned on the AC and left for my house.

Now I keep a crossbow in my bottom drawer just incase this kinda shit happens again.

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There are 2 comments on this post
  1. Tianna
    March 04, 2016, 11:00 am

    ahhahaha. I MISS Spacebar!

    • Alpana Mandal
      Alpana Mandal
      May 25, 2016, 12:08 pm

      Come visit, Tianna! You might be attacked by pigeons too!

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